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A little less than a happy high
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The headline from today's Metro:

Commies not over the Berlin Wall's fall

...along with a overly-biased editorial that implies that the violence at Fort Hood was a terrorist attack had me thinking that I'd write about labels and dehumanization as tools of social control, but I really don't have it in me today. Besides, there's altogether too much shouting as it is.

I will say this: "Commie" is SOOO 19551985.

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Poll #1481174 More fun than...
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 19

The following *may* be more fun than getting a flu shot...

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Discovering your fly is down
3 (15.8%)

Oversleeping
7 (36.8%)

Being chased through the jungle by angry natives
1 (5.3%)

Playing Scrabble against someone who has memorized 2 and 3 letter words
7 (36.8%)

Bacon
11 (57.9%)

Paper cuts
0 (0.0%)

Finding weevils in your oatmeal
2 (10.5%)

Waiting in line at the DMV
3 (15.8%)

Reformatting a hard drive
4 (21.1%)

Hell Night at East Coast Grill
6 (31.6%)

Giving the flu shot
8 (42.1%)

Ticky boxes!
12 (63.2%)

Other
3 (15.8%)

If you chose other, please specify:

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The first questions concerning the theme for Nov. 15 have arrived and have been run by the head table. As was said in that discussion:

"I think your initial announcement implied things that are green, growing now, and possess edible leaves as the only qualification -- that does open up broccoli raab, late lettuces, herbs, brussels sprouts, all cabbages, cress, endive, radicchio, escarole, chicory, dandelion, arugula, chard, kale, spinach, beet greens, etc."

I'm happy to run with this unless there is a popular cry against it.
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It was a rough local growing season this year, and rumors are there were only a handful of crops that did reliably well. This event's theme is a common staple in CSA shares and presents a suitable challenge for our competitors. Two weeks hence, your dishes will focus on... clicky )

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So, you know how you occasionally slice open a beautiful cucumber only to find that its cool, sweet flesh has an inexplicable bitter taste that's a little like licking the inside of an old tailpipe you found in a roadside snow drift? That's got nothing on a kabocha squash afflicted with the same problem.

The plan was to use one for a mock-Thai vegetable curry. As I was prepping it, I popped a cube in my mouth just to get an idea of its taste and texture, and I realized as soon as it hit my tongue that it was just wrong. I got pretty much the same results after having roasted it for 30 minutes thinking that I might get some of the starches to convert to sugars, and then pretty much gave up. Trouble was, those two bites had so wrecked my palate that I could not taste anything else but the bitter for the rest of the day. Constructing a curry on sight and feel is nerve-wracking.

~~*~~

In other news, I've completed the first steps for a batch of calvados and sage pork sausage. I had originally planned on using wine, but decided on the brandy at the last minute because it seemed more compelling. The cubed meat has been marinating since last night, and at some point tonight I'll grind it and stuff some casings. I'm currently soliciting ideas for the resulting eight feet of links. You're on notice.

~~*~~

Iron Chef will, in fact, be occurring on November 15th. Our current line-up will be:

Head Table: Diana, Meg, Mike & Ry
Competitors: Cynthia, Justin, Nora, Noah, (possibly) V & two Fletcher School students

If you want either in or out, please let me know as soon as possible. We'll be using the IC:A scoring we experimented with at the last event, and per usual, you will be competing for the right be be bugged by me to defend your title some months down the road. The theme (ingredient this time) will be announced on the morning of November 1, so please watch this space. Guidance for judges will follow in a private email.
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I seem to have fallen into a little bit of a rut of late where I am either over- or under-seasoning my foods. This is problematic because I'm starting to second-guess pretty much everything I'm working on, and this only serves to exacerbate the problem. Starting with the assumption that I have no idea what I'm doing is a little crazy making. It certainly doesn't lend itself well to experimentation.
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Nyquil is a harsh mistress.
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I've been sick and a little out of it all week, but I'm pretty sure that at some point V asked if we should get zebra-striped sheets to go with our elephant print duvet cover.
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Due to scheduling conflicts and rumors of grousing in the wings, we're going to push the event back a month into early November. We've one voiced preference for Sunday afternoons, but we'll go with whatever works best for most.

Poll #1464509 Iron Chef: People's Republic
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 10

Preferred date(s)?

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November 7
4 (44.4%)

November 8
7 (77.8%)

November 14
6 (66.7%)

November 15
7 (77.8%)

Would you like to...

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compete?
4 (40.0%)

judge?
6 (60.0%)

hang out?
5 (50.0%)

other? (Please feel free to elaborate)
1 (10.0%)

Would you prefer to have...

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a theme ingredient?
6 (85.7%)

a more general theme?
4 (57.1%)

a free for all?
1 (14.3%)

Should we use some other social networking utility to make arrangements for IC?

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yes
1 (16.7%)

no
5 (83.3%)

If yes, what?

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It's looking like October 17 has to be our day, which means that we have all of 2 people cooking or 3 if V decides to jump in at the last minute. I'd like to run with at least 4. If you've any inclination, speak up. Otherwise, please cast this out to a wider audience.

Unless we get an omnivore who's interested and hasn't gotten one of the seats previously, the judge's table is set.

At any rate, drop me a line soon so I can make final arrangements.
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The next time anyone feels a strong urge to talk about the huge variety of quality music available today in comparison to that of previous decades, I'd like you all to remember that we only just recovered from a wave of bands who wish they were Queen, only to have them be replaced with bands who wish they were Death Cab for Cutie. Consider Owl City...

'Cause I get a thousand hugs,
From ten thousand lightning bugs.
As they try to teach me how to dance,
A foxtrot above my head,
A sockhop beneath my bed.
The disco ball is just hanging by a thread (thread, thread)


Aw, hugs from bugs. Yeah, we're reaching new heights every day. :|
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We're considering the weekend of October 17 for the next Iron Chef: People's Republic outing. On this go, we've a spanky new dining room layout which will be more friendly to judges and spectators. Per usual, what I need from you are date preferences as well as some commitments to judge or participate.

Poll #1459269 Iron Chef: People's Republic
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 9

Preferred date(s)?

View Answers

October 17
6 (66.7%)

October 18
3 (33.3%)

October 24
3 (33.3%)

October 25
3 (33.3%)

Would you like to...

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compete?
2 (25.0%)

judge?
2 (25.0%)

hang out?
5 (62.5%)

other? (Please feel free to elaborate)
2 (25.0%)

Would you prefer to have...

View Answers

a theme ingredient?
7 (87.5%)

a more general theme?
2 (25.0%)

a free for all?
1 (12.5%)

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Emergency Pants!
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Overheard while passing the office of the younger. Elder asks:

"So it's funny because the pork chops are in the sandwiches??"
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After a few months unsuccessfully seeking pork belly from the folks at Stillman's, I finally broke down and bought a couple of slabs in C-Town. It's not that I've given up hope that Stillman's will come up with something for me. I have just been missing the experimentation, and it's been a very long time since we've had fresh bacon in the house. I think the last time I was able to use the cut was in preparation for our trip to PDX, and it still kills me knowing that something crafted with such care was left with folks who won’t eat it unless it’s been burned to a crisp rather than browned lightly. That, however, is a different story.

While the C-Town belly (“bellie”) doesn’t have the heft of the ones from the farm, it’s just as versatile and is more likely to get a uniform cure throughout the cut. For this go, I ran with a variation of a braised pork belly I ran across in a Spanish cookbook at one point. I went sweet and used a whole vanilla bean along with a liberal sprinkling of red pepper flakes. Once the cure was done, I smoked the slab over a combination of corn cob and longan branches.

The result was more “porky” than I like for my bacon and though the flavor from the pepper is a nice undertone, I didn’t pick up any of the heat. Overall, it’s quite tasty, has a nice, subtle blend of flavors, and will work well for a number of uses.

~*~

For the record, we really do have a tremendous amount of food in the house. As we approach proper harvest season with the CSA, our stocks tend to swell alarmingly. I’m not exactly wringing my hands over it, but it has put me in the mind for responsible use. I’ve been cooking pretty much all week and feel like I’m just scratching the surface of what’s possible. Just as an example, I sat down yesterday and figured that we could make all of the following with relatively few additions and barely touching our stock of meats:

Chipotle Corn Chowder
Vegetable Lasagna
Beet Ravioli with Poppy Brown Butter
Cock-A-Leekie Soup
Thai Curried Fish or Tom Kha
Chard Stalk Scramble
Cucumber & Melon Salad
Dilly Beans
Pancakes with Raspberry-Peach Compote
Duck Confit with Braised Red Cabbage

We had the corn chowder for dinner last night, but I’m still counting at least two breakfasts and five complete dinners in that line-up, and that’s just from the stock I remembered. Factor in the wildcard produce and leftovers, and that makes for a very full part-week before we get our next drop. If you are inclined to pop in, chances are good we’ll be able to feed you. No, really.
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It took no time whatsoever for the new space occupied by my office to acquire a nickname, The Penthouse. Given that it occupies the top floor of the building and is home to most of the senior staff, it is appropriate, if a touch obvious. The Bullpen and Rats' Warren still exist, but now re-purposed Executive Suite has yet to earn a new moniker. We shall see.

In other news, the remodeling of the bathrooms has afforded opportunities for some re-purposing of my own. Clicky )
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When Bizarre Foods first started to air, I poked my head in a few times because I thought that a food-oriented travelogue built around the assumption that the best way to experience a culture is headfirst would appeal on a pretty visceral level. My hope was that Zimmern would serve as supplement to Anthony Bourdain’s explorations, but initially gave up after a few episodes because he came off (and this after editing for content) as a gluttonous American tourist who chased after shock value rather than genuine experience. Where No Reservations included everything from sublime and beautiful food traditions all the way to snarky social commentary, Bizarre Foods relied primarily on the "food dare." Unfortunately, where Bourdain would get dragged into a backstreet eatery in Tokyo to be fed a still-beating frog’s heart, Zimmern was more likely to hold a piece of braised pork belly or pickled beef tongue up to the camera and suggest that eating them was somehow amazingly weird.

Though I didn’t completely dismiss him as a low-rent Bourdain (that honor was held for Food Network’s Adam Gertler), I did opt to pass on the show because it didn’t really seem to my tastes. When I saw that he had done an episode on Spain, however, I decided to give him another go. I love Spanish food, and V and I have talked about spending some time there within the next couple of years. What could go wrong?

It was unwatchable, and I didn’t reach that conclusion while Zimmern was talking through mouthfuls of his food (even though no one needs to see that), or listening to what sounded like his crunching through a chicken’s rib cage when I knew he was eating meat from a roasted suckling pig (they either need to mic him better or he needs to find a new foley artist... it was just gross). What broke the show for me, what made me ultimately lose any respect I might have had for Zimmern, was when a plate of Chiparones Rellenos En Su Tinta (stuffed squid cooked in its own ink) arrived at his table. He explained that when his father had brought him to Spain as a child, he remembered him ordering this. Then he said that this dish was not for the faint of heart because, "...it probably tastes like it looks, but I love it."

Chiparones Rellenos is served in a sauce that is as dark, luscious and murky as one might expect for having been crafted from squid ink, but it is outrageously delicious and easily one of my favorite tapas. Given that I’ve shared plates with friends not usually into tentacley things who have come away loving it, I would even go so far as to say that it’s not a dish that takes a rarefied palate to enjoy. Zimmern, however, deemed fit to make it utterly alien, suggesting that it was unpalatable to all but those crazy enough to appreciate it in spite of its inherent weirdness. His statement felt disrespectful of his hosts, of the culture he found himself in, and of the food. The worst of it? It was a big fucking lie.

I realized while I was watching him stuff his face – again – that this man’s philosophy on food is entirely antithetical to mine. Food can be a means to bring people together, or to communicate across cultural bounds, but Zimmern uses it to demonstrate how he is some kind of special snowflake because he’s incapable of turning down anything that’s set in front of him. He manages to make what is entirely normal and delicious fare in the cultures he visits appear unappetizing and inaccessible. I can't abide by it.
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Pick a movie and make one small change that would somehow make the movie infinitely better.

To start things off... )
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He: Who's that sitting next to [Name of the Bride]?
Me: I'm sorry, but who's [Name of the Bride]?

Man, sometimes I'm smooth.
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Everyone is covered in crazy sauce.
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For I have tasted the sausage, and it was good.
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If you're looking to ensure that your partner won't eat a common farm share staple she's normally kind of cool to, one of the best things to do is to pair it with something else she's also not terribly fond of and then spike it with too much sage. All the sausage in the world will not convince her to eat it.

It wasn't my favorite, either, and as I've seen elsewhere in a lot of "healthy" sources, the recipe was a little wonky. Where they got the idea for 12 cups of kale, I can't fathom. I used maybe 1/4 of that, and there was more than enough greenery. The major problem, though, fell to flavor. One of the commenters said that the dish was kind of bland and grassy., and while I don't think bland is accurate, dropping sage on top of kale outside of a spicy broth seems to have done nothing so much as to make everything taste incredibly floral. This was probably exacerbated by choosing to use a biere de garde in place of the red that was called for, but that kind of substitution usually works for me.

V's roast chicken, on the other hand, came out beautifully.
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Sometimes I look at activities calendars from nursing homes and wonder if the whole activities concept will need to be rethought when my generation enters its endgame. I suppose it will depend on whether aging (or more depressing - dementia) increases our appreciation for kitsch and reduces our native cynicism, but I've seen no real evidence so far to support this. In any case, I think I'd become vaguely suicidal if the best I had to look forward to in the coming month was once-a-week Pokeno, a "Water Balloon Toss," and "Pictures with Mr. Turkey."
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At least some of the hanging sausages have dried to a evenly hard consistency, and may even prove edible when all is said and done. As I had suspected, however, the quads are moving at a much slower pace. I'm still thinking that as cool as the quad-chains looked when they were first formed, single links or perhaps dual-chained is the way to go.

For my one accomplishment over the weekend, I canned the results of the two-week mixed veggie dill crock. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure I have the fermented pickles thing down. I've followed the given easy-as-pie* directions, but the end product tends to be very garlicky and salty. While a good number of garde-manger techniques** have come pretty naturally, I'm still not happy with the pickles I'm turning out. Slavishly adhering to recipes isn't doing it either, so I may start picking the brains of people I know have this stuff down. You're on notice.

~*~

*I have a strange record with easy-as-pie directions. For instance, I can cite my very mixed results with the 30-min mozzarella recipe that seems to work consistently for everyone except me. I think I may crave complexity. Also? When all is said and done, pie is not that easy to do well. It is delicious, though.
**And then there's aspic, but that's a whole other story. I mean, I'm happy enough making stock rich enough to turn into flavor jelly when it cools, but I'm really unsure about packing meat and veggies in it and serving jiggly slices of the results. Even for me, that's a really hard sell.
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