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Res - A little less than a happy high
komos
komos
Res
I’ve been finding that I have an almost visceral fear reaction to legal proceedings. Perhaps it’s just residual anxiety from The Troubles, where any legal document I received was certain to bear yet more bad news. I don’t know. The feelings are real, and affect me to the point of causing insomnia and a certain amount of agita.

This all presents a bit of a challenge since I get to handle all of the subpoenas that arrive at my office. Yesterday, I was even fortunate enough to be deposed for three and a half hours over the contents of a record. I was nervous enough to forget my home address for a moment. I’m not sure that I gave this particular sphere of my duties any thought when I applied for the position, but I’m certainly in the thick of it now.

I guess I’ll just chalk it up to exposure therapy.

Current Music: Modest Mouse, "Bukowski"

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Comments
wisdom_seeker From: wisdom_seeker Date: June 24th, 2004 07:13 am (UTC) (Link)
I know you probably already know this, but the psychologist in me can't resist:

Exposure can work in 2 ways: 1. You have to stay in the anxiety-provoking situation long enough for the anxiety to pass (this will always happen if you wait long enough; the human body simply can't maintain high anxiety forever) and/or 2. you enter into an anxiety-provoking situation and then use relaxation techniques (deep breathing, muscle tensing and relaxing) to calm yourself down while still in the situation.

Try taking some deep breaths or meditating *before* you go into your next deposition. That will help reduce the amount of anxiety you feel once you get there and prime you for calming yourself down.
komos From: komos Date: June 24th, 2004 05:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
I would hope that after all I've been through, I would have some idea of how to keep the anxiety under wraps. I've got some of it down... I just wish that the reaction wasn't there to begin with. It's far too enervating.
emzebel From: emzebel Date: June 24th, 2004 07:36 am (UTC) (Link)
If it makes you feel any better, I have an almost visceral fear reaction to legal proceedings and I'm a lawyer. ;)
komos From: komos Date: June 24th, 2004 05:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's good to hear that I'm not alone, at least. I've always been of the mind that I couldn't become a lawyer because of it.
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