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Fin. - A little less than a happy high
komos
komos
Fin.
I've not left the house in two days thanks to my latest bout with respiratory ailment assortment #6. I have, for all intents and purposes, been ill for January. It's beginning to wear a bit.

The boredom and the stir crazy I can handle. I start coming apart with the anxiety, the fear that I'll never be well again, the sudden knowing that I'm really alone. This afternoon, I started thinking that I just can't do it anymore without having a real sense of what "it" is. I feel tired and small and weak.

I started getting a handle on all of this when I opened my mail and discovered that the check that the roomie gave for rent this month bounced. This of course means that I'll soon learn that the check I wrote to the landlord has also bounced, or worse, a whole series of other checks started rebounding. So now I'm worried about money and where I live.

I know I've kind of lost moaning rights here... I said I wanted to kick him out, and I didn't. I have no sane reason. I didn't want to be that guy, but he's gone and demonstrated, again, that I'm crazy to place any trust in him. He will never cease to let me down. He is too selfish and too careless to do anything else.
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komos From: komos Date: January 21st, 2005 08:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think I may surprise even myself in the aftermath of this.
clayrobeson From: clayrobeson Date: January 21st, 2005 06:43 am (UTC) (Link)
I have frequent flier miles.

I will fly to Boston covertly and assassinate him.

This post will self destruct in 5... 4... 3... 2... OW! Shit, that was my keyboard, not the post! Fuck!

Get better soon.
komos From: komos Date: January 21st, 2005 08:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
You wouldn't happen to be looking for a roomie in the cold, cold northeast, would you?
clayrobeson From: clayrobeson Date: January 22nd, 2005 06:39 am (UTC) (Link)
I wish I was! :D
wildflowersoul From: wildflowersoul Date: January 21st, 2005 12:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
If you're feeling well enough, you should come over to hang out tonight.

He has got to go. My offer of a foot to his ass still stands.
komos From: komos Date: January 21st, 2005 08:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'll be coming by. I just can't resist the lure of the creepy carnival.
wildflowersoul From: wildflowersoul Date: January 21st, 2005 09:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Excellent
sassyinkpen From: sassyinkpen Date: January 21st, 2005 02:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sorry to hear you're feeling rotten. The illness and the forced downtime can definately start to screw with your head like that. A little good thick soup and getting moving back into your routines (however weakly) can help a lot. (Have a beer...that cures everything)

As for the roommate? The bounced check reinstates all moaning rights. But, yes, I would think a drain like that has got to go...you can't have something like that infecting your home life. The rest of our daily grind is hard enough.

Good luck & get well :)
komos From: komos Date: January 21st, 2005 08:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thanks.

I think the routine is part of the problem... and my attempts to shake things up have largely been furtive. I kind of need to feel like something new and vibrant is taking hold, and in the absence of that, I've been pushing in the wrong direction and making myself sick. Which then leads to worry and despair, which makes it even harder to get something new going.

Ah, pattterns.
From: corvus_coronis Date: January 22nd, 2005 03:41 am (UTC) (Link)
Scrounge some vitamin C & bide your time..when you have secretly regained your full hitpoints it will be time to remove him. There isnt an (affordable) accomodation agency somewhere where you can chase up a more reliable replacement?
komos From: komos Date: January 24th, 2005 08:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
I don't think that finding a replacement is the biggest problem. It's more along the lines of extracating myself from a friendship of about a decade that's gone horribly wrong.

I'll be talking to him later in the week. We'll have to see how that goes.
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