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Epiphany (of sorts) - A little less than a happy high
komos
komos
Epiphany (of sorts)
Ever have those brief, terrifying moments of insight wherein it becomes clear that something is horribly, horribly wrong and yet you have no idea how to fix it?

Yeah, I hate that.
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Comments
canonfire From: canonfire Date: April 7th, 2005 02:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
I got that feeling when I started challenging notions of Augustine's concept of Original Sin...
starflow From: starflow Date: April 7th, 2005 02:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
I really like the word "vestibule."
cosmicserpent From: cosmicserpent Date: April 7th, 2005 02:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, every time I read the news.
komos From: komos Date: April 7th, 2005 03:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was thinking on a slightly more personal level, but I know exactly what you mean.

Notice the announcement that the US will be requiring passports to go to Canada, Mexico, and the Bahamas by 2008?
sassyinkpen From: sassyinkpen Date: April 7th, 2005 02:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
When I washed something blue in the load of white-things+serious-chemical-rust-stain-remover...
komos From: komos Date: April 7th, 2005 03:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Did everything come out a simply delicious shade of faded denim?
cinemama From: cinemama Date: April 7th, 2005 03:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yes. All the time.

Now that the panic's gone, anything you can fix?
komos From: komos Date: April 7th, 2005 03:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm still sitting with the panic, actually.

Really, it's hard to say. I think I would have to put a great deal more trust in the universe than seems warranted. Stepping out into the big empty is not exactly my strong point.
chillguru From: chillguru Date: April 7th, 2005 03:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
ughh do i ever
komos From: komos Date: April 7th, 2005 03:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...
wisdom_seeker From: wisdom_seeker Date: April 7th, 2005 04:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I think everyone does. I usually try to identify as clearly as I can what the *wrong* thing is, and how it's wrong, and what it would look like if it was right, and then try to come up with ways to get it there.

In the meantime, I'm sorry you're having that kind of moment. *hug*
komos From: komos Date: April 7th, 2005 04:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
Did I just see your therapist hat go on?
cook_ting From: cook_ting Date: April 7th, 2005 04:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
When moments like that arise, I like to just start swinging my nail-bat until the nice men come to take me away.

Everything is always horribly, horribly wrong from the perspective of radical utopians such as ourselves. We must reconcile the realities of this bloated, feces drenched world with our own inner visions of the proper ordering man and society. Alternatively, there's always the nail-bat.
komos From: komos Date: April 7th, 2005 06:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Nailbats and antipsychotics? Are we truly relegated to such small pleasures?
transcribe From: transcribe Date: April 7th, 2005 07:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
yes, but i never know what it is that's wrong. i just know that something is dreadfully terrible. i'm responsible, and everything is hell... that's during the panic and anxiety attacks.
komos From: komos Date: April 7th, 2005 07:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's the normal mode for me, but last night and this morning, I got a very clear sense of what it was that was wrong and how I had come to be here. As I said to M-, I've an idea of where to go from here, but it would require trust in the universe, my ability to fall on my face and then get up and successfully dust myself off, and my judgement.

After the Troubles, I'm very skittish on all fronts. Part of me is screaming to sit tight, but sometimes the waiting feels like dying.
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