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THAT CRAZY - A little less than a happy high
komos
komos
THAT CRAZY
In keeping with my recent unplanned explorations of my body's systems, I have this to share: If my inner ear doesn't stop itching soon, I am likely to go purchase some ear candles... and use them as cheap and ineffective daggers to fight off the horde of angry ghosts who seem intent on causing this irritation. Mano a mano. No shit.

Yeah, it's making me THAT CRAZY.

It's not like I need too much help in that direction. I'm beginning to realize that the world to which I retire when I dream has its own consistencies and correspondences. There's a town I keep going to. It's built on a hill by the sea and is filled with windy roads and people I know nowhere else except in this place. At one point, I thought it might be in Germany. After last night, I can't decide that it wasn't in Russia or England.

On another matter entirely, like many others, I'm seeing things in a whole new light...
Poll #713288 Bad design hurts everyone

"The Atheist's Nightmare"
1(4.5%)
"Just the right shape for the human mouth"
2(9.1%)
"As you can see, fellatio is just part of God's Plan"
3(13.6%)
He looks like he's had practice
1(4.5%)
He looks like he needs practice
1(4.5%)
He looks like he's practicing now
0(0.0%)
I totally saw that dude cruising for a piece of ass last Friday
1(4.5%)
Oh. My. God.
0(0.0%)
I feel like having a banana
0(0.0%)
I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a banana again
2(9.1%)
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Comments
pilarcruz From: pilarcruz Date: April 19th, 2006 10:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

It was underaged boy ass, too

Maybe your inner ear itching is related to allergies. When I'm having my allergy problems, my inner ear itches like hell and I do all kinds of snorting and throat clearing for a modicum of relief.
komos From: komos Date: April 20th, 2006 06:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: It was underaged boy ass, too

I just stab things at unseen foes. It does wonders.

:\
bootsvalentine From: bootsvalentine Date: April 19th, 2006 11:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
This probably not doctor-approved, but when my inner ear won't stop itching I put Vick's vaporub in it and it helps.
komos From: komos Date: April 20th, 2006 06:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Isn't Vick's one of those things that should be kept away from your more.... delicate bits?
bootsvalentine From: bootsvalentine Date: April 21st, 2006 01:33 am (UTC) (Link)
technically it's not supposed to go on mucous membranes, but I know a lot of people who use it in their nose. My ear is no worse for wear. It's better than jabbing a skewer in there trying to get the itching to stop :)
komos From: komos Date: April 21st, 2006 02:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
I don't suppose you have interesting uses for Tiger Balm, too, do you?
From: skygoodwill Date: April 19th, 2006 11:49 pm (UTC) (Link)

Alternative answer:
"Where is King Kong when you need him?"
komos From: komos Date: April 20th, 2006 06:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm guessing that he's fightin' T-REX.
(Deleted comment)
komos From: komos Date: April 20th, 2006 06:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'd be happy to do either, just so long as I still have to take off my pants.
(Deleted comment)
komos From: komos Date: April 20th, 2006 07:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm going to hold you to that, you know.
(Deleted comment)
komos From: komos Date: April 20th, 2006 07:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
The holding may be pants-less, but mostly because I've lost track of what we were talking about.

Ooooo... shiney!
haloedone From: haloedone Date: April 20th, 2006 12:24 am (UTC) (Link)
I have small ears. So despite daily cleaning, wax can build up. The first time this happened, I went to the doctor (I was quite young) and he did the 'flushing out with warm water' deal. It worked. However, he also told me something that I follow to this day.

I put hydrogen peroxide in my ears.

No, it doesn't burn. It bubbles, which can itch, or tickle. But, it clears out the wax.

I've done it the day before going to the doctor and having my ears checked and my current doctor said (when he looked in my ears) that they were perfectly clean.

I use an eye-dropper, get a full dropper-full of hydrogen peroxide, then squirt it into my ear (you have to be lying on your side). After 10-15 minutes (less if the bubbling is tickling too much, but then I repeat it just to make sure it's clean), I turn over and let it come out.

I imagine, my ear hairs are also quite blonde. But, seeing as I've never looked in my ears, that's all just supposition.

(Yes, I really am serious and really do do this)
komos From: komos Date: April 20th, 2006 06:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I hate to admit it, but I've been a bit plagued with the wax of late. My PCP laughed the last time she checked me out and made me promise not to go fishing around with q-tips and compacting it all together.
riverbank From: riverbank Date: April 20th, 2006 04:14 am (UTC) (Link)
have you ever drempt of a place and then happened upon a very similar place in real life?
komos From: komos Date: April 20th, 2006 06:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
There was a house that I had for a long time known only in dreams that I passed in the middle of nowhere in upstate NY. Even though the real place was more dilapidated, everything was the same, right down to the 19th century prosthetic legs hanging in the closet of one of the rooms on the second floor.
riverbank From: riverbank Date: April 21st, 2006 01:31 am (UTC) (Link)
creepy
komos From: komos Date: April 21st, 2006 02:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I was pretty well freaked out.

Still think I should have taken one of the prosthetics just to have some proof of the crossover. Articulated wooden legs are weird.
teddywookie From: teddywookie Date: April 20th, 2006 12:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
http://www.boingboing.net/2006/01/21/peeling_bananas_from.html

Smart monkeys agree - it's not a tab; it's a handle.
komos From: komos Date: April 20th, 2006 06:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wait, if monkeys actually have a better way of eating bananas, what does that do to the ID banana theory?

THE HORROR!
apeyanne From: apeyanne Date: April 20th, 2006 05:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Have to agree with the above assessment of allergies. Itchy ears is common. Try taking a claritin every day, and/or sudafed every 4 hours. I guarantee it will make a huge difference. (Especially the sudafed, the itchiness comes from irritation of the eustasian tube, which is an extension of the sinuses.)
komos From: komos Date: April 20th, 2006 06:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
If at all possible, I'd like to avoid the daily meds regimin. I was pretty miserable when I was having the reaction to the reconstruction going on in my building back in October, and though I managed to stop being itchy on claritin and the like, I was a bit of a zombie.
(Deleted comment)
komos From: komos Date: April 21st, 2006 02:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ear candles are good for fighting hippies, too, though you could probably save your money and just pick up a stick somewhere. (They fall down when they're scared.)

I hope it sounds like a small moth and not something like a luna. That would be a little unsettling.
xzqx From: xzqx Date: April 24th, 2006 03:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
When I have itchy ears due to allergies I have constant fantasies about finding some kind of bristly wand for cleaning pipes or something, and sticking it deep into my ear. I totally feel your pain.
komos From: komos Date: April 24th, 2006 09:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
AUGH! WHY DOES IT HURT??
28 comments or Leave a comment