?

Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile Previous Previous Next Next
See the great things I get to learn in corporate training? - A little less than a happy high
komos
komos
See the great things I get to learn in corporate training?
Poll #747953 Profiler

Check all that apply to you. Are you __________? :

White
0(0.0%)
Male
0(0.0%)
Age 35-55
0(0.0%)
Unmarried/Divorced
0(0.0%)
Introverted
0(0.0%)
Intelligent/Articulate
0(0.0%)
Considered "weird" or "odd" by your peers
0(0.0%)
Feeling that you have been "wronged" in some way
0(0.0%)
Prone to thinking of things in a "black or white" fashion
0(0.0%)
Subject to recent discipline/wage cut/garnishment/layoff
0(0.0%)
Lacking a clear support system
0(0.0%)



If you have selected all of the above, CONGRATULATIONS! You fit the FBI profile of a perpetrator of workplace violence. This could mean absolutely nothing, or it could indicate that you're on the verge of snapping on a daily basis. HOORAY!

Actually, it means absolutely nothing because here, as in many other things, correlation does not equal causation. That said, sitting in a mandatory corporate training session and realizing that you match the various criteria as they're being listed is more than a little unsettling. Despite the chipper attitude of the speaker and the reassurances to the handful of us who seemed to grow increasingly uncomfortable as she spoke, it was hard not getting just a little depressed knowing that I shared characteristics with a guy who shot dead seven of his co-workers. It was a kind of "Damn, I didn't know that my life was that desperate" sort of thing.

Thankfully, I'm not much into absolutes. More importantly, I have friends.

Thanks folks, and remind me to beg off of training when I can.
20 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
From: uruz Date: June 14th, 2006 05:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hooray for workplace violence!

Do you want the nailbat or the shiv?
komos From: komos Date: June 14th, 2006 05:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's a tough choice. The nailbat has such great potential, but the shiv is so personal...
(Deleted comment)
komos From: komos Date: June 14th, 2006 05:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Our HR Dept lost the sign-in sheet that verified that I had attended a mandatory training several years back. Luckily, I had attended with out director, who politely refused to have everyone in the session attend another and urged HR to figure out another way to close their records.

I really wouldn't have wanted to do that one over.
starboogie From: starboogie Date: June 14th, 2006 05:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Uh-oh! Look at those 100%s in your poll. Looks like you need to go to diversity training. Or maybe just get some stupider (or more modest!) friends.
komos From: komos Date: June 14th, 2006 05:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm just going on what people tell me. In reality, I'm a 17 year old Japanese schoolgirl, but my friends keep telling me that's incorrect.

...or maybe they said it was wrong. I lose track.
tenillypo From: tenillypo Date: June 14th, 2006 05:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
On of the only good things about being a temp is not having to attend any dumb ass meetings anymore.
komos From: komos Date: June 14th, 2006 06:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
To be fair, the speaker was really interesting. I just didn't enjoy the "What kind of a monster AM I??" feeling that kept creeping up on me.
clayrobeson From: clayrobeson Date: June 14th, 2006 06:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
You are the kind of monster that breathes fire! And by fire I mean beer and cheese! And by breathes I mean supplies. And by monster I mean awesome host.
komos From: komos Date: June 14th, 2006 06:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
So, more of a fuzzy lumpkin than a demon from beyond?
clayrobeson From: clayrobeson Date: June 14th, 2006 06:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah... If you wore heels and pearls I'd compare you to June Cleaver. Perhaps.
esmerel From: esmerel Date: June 14th, 2006 06:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
MY EYES. THE INNER EYES. I NEED STEEL WOOL AUGH. :)
komos From: komos Date: June 14th, 2006 08:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I think I need to scrub my brain after that one, too.
cook_ting From: cook_ting Date: June 14th, 2006 06:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
And every title of a Nietzsche book!
komos From: komos Date: June 14th, 2006 08:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
My personal favorite is "Welcome to Camp Beatdown."
frederic From: frederic Date: June 14th, 2006 06:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
My recent black eye has enough of my immediate cow-orkers unsettled. Viva la fight club!

Although according to check list, I have a month and a half before I enter into the 35-55 range. I guess that I'm a ticking time bomb.
komos From: komos Date: June 14th, 2006 08:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think we all are, really. ^_^
phlll From: phlll Date: June 14th, 2006 10:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Balls. I only got about 1/2 of those.

I can't even be a psychopath right.
komos From: komos Date: June 15th, 2006 11:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Doing the psycho-path is hard, dog... Sociopath is where it's at.

I have no idea what I'm saying.
phlll From: phlll Date: June 15th, 2006 12:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Assuming you like not being noticed. ;)
20 comments or Leave a comment