From: komos	Date: October 29th, 2003 06:52 am (UTC)		(Link)

I've never understood the appeal of the vampires. At times, I think that there is something that is deeply gratifying about the idea of desire being placed by expedience. Expedience excuses one from moral quandries and from responsibility in a way that desire does not. As burkean put it last night, vampires are all Id. They are an 'adult' projection of the tyranny of the infant.

Although this is all rather tangential...

How often do you find yourself cleaning house? And how do you ensure that the ties are broken?

From: dellaluna	Date: October 29th, 2003 02:09 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Well said!

How often do you find yourself cleaning house? And how do you ensure that the ties are broken?

I did my final and last "house cleaning" about 2 years ago. I dropped friends who were not friends but vampires, and made it clear to family members who were vamps to keep their distance from me.

I find that I'm much happier with my very small social circle (I've become a happy home body since I prefer intimate conversation with close friends to superficial bullshit relationships where both parties or one, are playing games and using each other) and my family hasn't really given me anything but grief so cutting ties there was easy (of course, both my parents are dead so cutting family ties is probably easier for me than most).

Online it's not so easy. It's hard to spot the vampires through their computer screens so occasionally I end up with some lj "vamp" friends and I end up removing them once I find them out. ;)

	From: komos	Date: October 29th, 2003 06:38 am (UTC)		(Link)
	Thanks

I find that it's hard asking for what I need. I find that it's even more difficult finding someone who is willing to give it. There are too many things that get in the way, too many conflicting needs.

I think right now, it's important for me not to compromise my needs. This, unfortunately, can make me seem a little on the selfish side in the minds of people making demands on me and sometime in my own. Big Catholic Guilt is hard to shake.

Oh, sorry I was so gloomy last night. Things were too much with me, I think.

	From: komos	Date: October 29th, 2003 06:34 am (UTC)		(Link)

See, I think that reality is just that, reality. In my mind, vampirism of this sort happens when someone, in the course of avoiding their own reality, creates a situation to draw off of the strength of another.

And yes, I think that there's a difference between having difficulties and asking for help and creating a situation to deflect other difficulties. But even there, regardless of any help a person may reeceive, any problems a person has must ultimately be addressed by that person.

I guess this is all by way of saying that I need my energy to cope with my own issues, and that I take issue with being asked to fix things for others. Or, to put it more colorfully, I am not a dancing monkey.

	From: komos	Date: October 29th, 2003 07:57 am (UTC)		(Link)

I know that I'm being more than a little unclear. Sorry 'bout that. I guess I'm mostly just thinking out loud.

I do appreciate the offer. Thanks.

	From: wisdom_seeker	Date: November 1st, 2003 09:14 am (UTC)		(Link)

Just echoing Karen's offer... I hope you're okay.