It hit me that I had agreed to go out so readily because I felt guilty and embarrassed over her saying that there was no food in the house. Granted, my supplies are a little on the spare side, but there is enough that I can conceive of living on it for the next couple of weeks (with some obvious supplements). My lifestyle has become increasingly Spartan, and while I recognize that it’s necessary on some level, it still strikes me as a weakness when I’m confronted with it. Not her fault… it’s all just personal demons and misplaced promises to myself that brought all this on. Sam was good enough to let me stomp and rage and was still able to laugh with me throughout the evening.
I had more weird dreams last night, including the seemingly ubiquitous but terribly disturbing “not prepared for school” dreams which have plagued me for the past year.
All out of sorts this morning.