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On snow demons - A little less than a happy high — LiveJournal
komos
komos
On snow demons
As though Gorgoth were not frightening enough, my neighbors across the way have summoned their own snow demon, Gargantuor. The two have rejoined a bizarre combat thathas it's origins in the haziest reaches of myth and legend. Gargantuor seems to have the current advantage. Gorgoth reels backwards from the force of some unseen blow, his mighty Candy Cane of Smiting limp at his side.

It sickens me, but I would rather the demon of this house triumphs, even should it mean that his reign of terror continue. At least I cannot see Gorgoth smiling with maniacal glee from my bedroom window...
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Comments
_meej_ From: _meej_ Date: December 23rd, 2003 09:23 am (UTC) (Link)
At least you've got a monstrous battle between eldritch snow demons to entertain you. All Dan and I have of note is the massive, shining beacon across the street from the end of our block.

I believe it's meant to be a large wreath, with a base of some sort of red decoration. The effect, however, is of a gigantic, blazing red ice cream cone filled with the most radioactive pistachio chip ice cream ever.
komos From: komos Date: December 23rd, 2003 09:34 am (UTC) (Link)
I think you might be looking at a genuine, top-of-the line Death Ray. DEATH RAY! Such a device may be Gorgoth's last hope. That or the sudden appearance of a cadre of elite lawn gnomes.

Skeltar the Undead Reindeer seems to have developed a wheeze in the melee.
_meej_ From: _meej_ Date: December 23rd, 2003 11:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Naah. It doesn't look at all capable of doing anything but being fed to Gargantua as a demon-sized batch of radioactive ice-cream. Which may or may not be a good idea; given the interactions of radioactive stuff and giant-mutant-demon-monster-types in the past, it'd either kill him (yay!) or make him GI-NORMOUS UNSTOPPABLE HOLIDAY BEATSTICK (boo.)

Maybe we should feed the icecream to *half* of the cadre of elite lawn gnomes, and take our chances on getting SUPAH lawn gnomes.

Sorry to hear about Skeltar (or maybe not; I've lost track of whose side he's on).
komos From: komos Date: December 23rd, 2003 11:17 am (UTC) (Link)

Beatstick is a funny word

The allegiance of undead Gift-mas lawn ornaments is forever changing. Today, he fights side by side with Gorgoth. Tomorrow, he might be courting the Noel, the Giant Penguin of Certain Doom.

I feel like I've been hit with a Ginormous Unstoppable Holiday Beatstick, but that's a different story altogether.
_meej_ From: _meej_ Date: December 23rd, 2003 11:54 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Beatstick is a funny word

This needs a wacked-out board- or miniatures-game to represent it. Especially with the inclusion of The Giant Penguin of Certain Doom.

It reminds me of a classic from long ago in, I think, Pyramid magazine, "The Seven Seals of Satan" boardgame. In which, Satan had decided that like unto the Book of Revelations, he too would have his Seven Seals, furry arctic mammals to be his Harbingers of Doom. There was one scenario in which the player of the human side had to club as many of the undead baby seals as they could... Truly twisted stuff.

I shall have to get the creative juices flowing over the holidays. My family may look at me funny when they see me writing such things, though...
komos From: komos Date: December 23rd, 2003 12:15 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Beatstick is a funny word

It won't be any more absurd than Faerie Meat, and I can already foresee expansions to the game.

Incidentally, writing things like this is unexpected? It seems to come so naturally.
_meej_ From: _meej_ Date: December 23rd, 2003 12:27 pm (UTC) (Link)

The Pink Flamingos of Annihilation!

Well, I certainly expect it. And I doubt the family would be too surprised, come to think of it. Though they'll still wonder where it came from, all it would likely take is a quick drive through suburbia to explain.

Rachel will likely conclude I've gone off the deep end (again), though. I'm not sure she's in touch with her inner absurdist. And she's definitely not found the Inner Gamer. But that's all OK - she'll just tune it out if she needs to.
hieeee From: hieeee Date: December 24th, 2003 06:00 am (UTC) (Link)

hi

:: runs and takes down all lawn ornaments ::

Merry Christmas, Peter!
komos From: komos Date: December 24th, 2003 06:16 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: hi

I suppose a brief explanation is due - My landlord was on the cutting edge of the ginormous vacuum-inflated cloth ornaments, and the first time I came home to see the gently bobbing snow man, my reaction was something to the effect of "WHAT.IS.THAT??" Hence the legend of Gorgoth the Snow Demon was born.

And thanks. My best to you and yours as well. ^_^
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