I’ve been having some trouble with this anniversaire since 35 seems to be one of those seminal numbers that inspires all manner of reflection and reexamination. There’s something about the fives that brings ruminations on the state of our lives, our
Our war is a spiritual war.
I find myself trying to reconcile what I’ve done and what I’m doing with this vision of A Proper Life that I was programmed to have. I understand that this vision is not my own, and that, in spite of everything that is fed to me, the reality is a manufactured one. Still, the nagging thoughts remain. Somehow, I should have a stable career path. I should be looking to start a family. I should be engaging in the joys of home ownership. All these things are necessary to be looked upon as an upstanding member of our society, right? One cannot be accomplished if he strays from this well-trod path. I don’t know if it’s for me, but because the programming is so pervasive, it takes a great deal of effort to say that.
The Year of the Wooden Monkey begins, bringing with it the promise of change and new beginnings. Maybe I get to be free.