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Why I hate clowns - A little less than a happy high
komos
komos
Why I hate clowns
I got a ride on the elevator this morning.

Now, this was no ordinary ride, even though at the outset I had fully anticipated that it would be. In fact, everything proceeded apace right up until I had nearly reached my destination on the sixth floor. As I stood there in the ascendelocerator as I am accustomed to do each and every morning, I began to notice a strange buzzing sound. This was followed by an unfortunately jolting stop. I thought this odd, and was by no means happy about spending my morning stuck in a large metal box suspended by pulleys and cables controlled by a switchbox that dates to the Golden Era of this particular machine. In hindsight, I would rather have relished such a fate.

As I reached to depress the alarum, my box began to descend... rapidly. Since it wasn’t entirely clear that this descent was at all controlled by the aforementioned pulleys and cables, I began to panic. Actually, my reaction was more controlled than that. I began to think that a death by elevator failure would be a pointless death indeed. When frantic pushing of buttons on the panel did nothing, I actually began to pace. It’s funny how the mind works under stress.

Just as quickly my unexpected descent began, the elevator stopped again. As near as I could tell, it was somewhere between the first and second floor, and thankfully, the controls responded when I punched '1' to get off at the lobby.

The worst part of all of this was that it wasn’t a mechanical failure. The elevators were being tested. In fact, the ‘gentleman’ who was coordinating the test of the car I was in had seen me enter the building and start to go up. Upon seeing my blanched face on my return to the lobby, he flashed me a wry smile and invited me to take one of the others.

Current Mood: Calm as a Hindu cow

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Comments
From: ex_cayetana730 Date: January 8th, 2004 05:19 am (UTC) (Link)
That's... That's not a good thing to go through. I'm sorry.
It sounds like the dreams I had last night.
komos From: komos Date: January 8th, 2004 05:25 am (UTC) (Link)
A dream to some, an nail biting reality for others!

Is my geek showing again?
quislibet From: quislibet Date: January 8th, 2004 05:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Zounds! What a cad!
komos From: komos Date: January 8th, 2004 05:27 am (UTC) (Link)

Snideley Whiplash with a mullet

Perhaps I should have beaten him with a truncheon... or a halibut.
quislibet From: quislibet Date: January 8th, 2004 06:01 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Snideley Whiplash with a mullet

a halibut

Or a mullet, of the ichthyoid variety, just for the irony.
komos From: komos Date: January 8th, 2004 08:18 am (UTC) (Link)

Or a sturgeon?

Hah, I have defeated you with your own lack of fashion statement!
_meej_ From: _meej_ Date: January 8th, 2004 05:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Yowza! Glad you're OK; elevator trouble can be rather harrowing when it does things like that.

Did the car have the decency to actually move and get you to the lobby? Or did you get the somewhat-cool, somewhat-freaky "halfway to a floor" thing? I remember the elevator in the Architecture building at Penn opening once and giving us all an interesting view of... feet and shins, at head height. Not exactly comforting, that.
komos From: komos Date: January 8th, 2004 05:32 am (UTC) (Link)
It worked fine once the workmen let it off of freefall mode, so I'm not sure if I should say that technology or people are my bane.
bushidokelt From: bushidokelt Date: January 8th, 2004 07:10 am (UTC) (Link)
sue the fucker for intentional infliciton of emotional distress!!!

Yes, I am serious..
komos From: komos Date: January 8th, 2004 08:21 am (UTC) (Link)
Hey, that's something you can do now... ;)

Honestly, even though I could use the money, I don't think I have it in me to pursue something like it. If I had gotten hurt it would be a different story.
wildflowersoul From: wildflowersoul Date: January 8th, 2004 07:41 am (UTC) (Link)
Yikes!
komos From: komos Date: January 8th, 2004 08:23 am (UTC) (Link)
I had thought I would react more profoundly to uncertain doom. I just paced.
riverbank From: riverbank Date: January 8th, 2004 07:50 am (UTC) (Link)

happy endings

you tell a great story
komos From: komos Date: January 8th, 2004 08:23 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: happy endings

Thanks!
opheliasphoenix From: opheliasphoenix Date: January 8th, 2004 07:59 am (UTC) (Link)
I would have killed him. With the very phone in his desk if nothing else. Then I would have realigned my chakras, pirouhetted on my heel and looked for the next victim!
komos From: komos Date: January 8th, 2004 08:29 am (UTC) (Link)

Spoken like one of the Kshatriya...

Truly the only response due. Sadly, I live in a "polite" society where the only proper channel to seek retribution against cruel and selfish acts is the psychological warfare of the courts.

I'm still not convinced we're any more civilized.
opheliasphoenix From: opheliasphoenix Date: January 8th, 2004 08:41 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Spoken like one of the Kshatriya...

There's always that. Still, I am very happy that you are safe!

xoxo
Khep of the Vedic Ganas

komos From: komos Date: January 8th, 2004 09:21 am (UTC) (Link)

And that made me grin...

Thanks much. Me too.
wisdom_seeker From: wisdom_seeker Date: January 9th, 2004 01:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh my God! That sounds terrifying! What a friggin' asshole!
komos From: komos Date: January 12th, 2004 04:41 am (UTC) (Link)
I should have asked him if he knew the elevator would do that when I got on, but that would have been very confrontational.
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