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Mopey on a fine spring day - A little less than a happy high
komos
komos
Mopey on a fine spring day
I’m in my office looking around me at the numerous things I have to do and I can’t get myself to feel motivated. I feel guilty, bored, anxious even, but motivated is something else entirely. The truth of the matter is that it’s been a long time since I’ve felt any connection to the work, or even felt that the work really makes any difference. There’s just too much effort put into stopgap measures and too little reward for innovation or initiative. The system breeds inactivity and resentment. The organization creates its own inefficiency.

I look around and see people who are as bored and unmotivated as I am, and this does little to help. Consider, when you’re surrounded by people who are by and large just waiting to die (or retire), there has to be a Herculean effort to stave off that kind of mentality. Soul death again. In my conception, one of the forms that soul death takes is a tacit acceptance of a lack of growth. Sad thing is, I’m almost certain that most people fall into this state.

Hazrat Inayat Khan postulated that most people are "asleep," or in a state of perpetual unawareness and stupor. He’s right.

I’ve known people who are truly alive, and their perspective is infectious. They live their lives and the things that they do have meaning. They’re not in jobs just to pay the bills or in relationships just to avoid being lonely. Their world is vibrant, and somehow more real than that you’ll encounter elsewhere. Somehow, their very lives take on an artistic cast, become a very real expression of the divine.

I’d like to be one of them, but I’ve not yet found the way it's done.

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: Björk, "Joga"

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