Kid just loves him some cows (komos) wrote,
Kid just loves him some cows

  • Mood:

In the silence and darkness

I'm sitting here and realizing that insomnia is going to be a problem tonight.

There's an interesting twist, though... I'm not in a place where I feel too much of the world with me. I'm not filled with angst or despair. I don't feel like my world is spinning out of control or that I'm going to be buried under financial debt. If anything, my evening was kind of fun, if anti-climactic. I just feel restless. I'm tired, but I don't want to sleep. It's past midnight, and I know full well that I should head upstairs and at least lie down to read until fatigue overwhelms me.

And yet I'm sitting here in front of my monitor, thinking about random things. I'm contemplating all of the stuff I need to do at work and at home before I'm ready to go away next week. I'm puzzling over Shelby's statements that Shirley Manson is "ancient." I'm wondering why it is that I've never really felt like an adult. I feel like I should be doing something productive with my time while I'm in this state. Cleaning maybe. Paying bills. Coming up with a plan for my life.

I wonder if this is how Tyler Durden got started.

Bleh. I've got to go do something else. This is way too self-indulgent and pointless. Send me good sleepy vibes.

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