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Straight to Hell, boy - A little less than a happy high
komos
komos
Straight to Hell, boy
To borrow a line from Frank Zappa, "Why does it hurt when I pee?"

Last night was an adventure into the darker side of the human palate. No, the five of us did not explore the wonders of cannibalism, and we even managed to steer clear of many of the foods that would fall under the old Chinese adage, "If its back faces the sun, it is surely a delicacy." (Yeah, think about that for a moment.)

Instead, we attended Hell Night, a periodic gastronomical challenge issued by the East Coast Grill to its reportedly pepper-starved public. They serve up a crazy-go-nuts menu with enough scovilles to make the most hardened afficionado See Through Time. To tell the truth, given the write-up for the evening and the cautious excitement I read on the faces of my companions, I was a little intimidated going into the evening. This is my story.

Satan's Bloody Hell Oyster Shooter (6 bombs): My first glance at the menu had me wondering if I hadn't gotten myself into a bit of trouble. I mean, I had gotten some bread and milk into my system beforehand in preparation for the assault, but I realized I had psyched myself out a little. Eric had been talking about this for most of the week, and it seemed like as good a place to begin as any. At six bombs, it wasn't the spiciest item on the menu, but it would give me a good idea of what would be upcoming. Presentation was simple - a single raw oyster on half-shell served with a tumbler of "Deadly Tomato Juice." Besides a huge helping of horseradish, I really don't know what was in there. It was super tasty and the burn lingered on my lips and at the back of my throat. As I sat with that, I decided I was going to be alright.

The Infamous PASTA FROM HELL (7 bombs): Hector was the only one who ordered this, and he was good enough to let the rest of us try it. For the record, this was probably the hottest thing I've ever tasted, eclipsing even the super-hot vindaloo I got in London. What was surprising was that it managed to keep a lot of flavor in spite of the heat. After a bite of the pasta and a hunk of sausage, I decided it was enough and contemplated the burn that wrapped my tongue on all sides as I watched Hector put away 4-5 huge mouthfuls of the stuff.

The Jamaican Connection (5 bombs): A half dozen oysters served with a Jamaican-style sausage made with Scotch Bonnet peppers. After the Shooter and the Pasta From Hell, I barely noticed the heat in this. The sausage was very tasty, and probably somewhere in the realm of the infamous Not-Really-From-Arkansas Super-Hot sausage in burn. The oysters were cool and delicious.

Queso Fresco and Mango Stuffed Poblano Stuffed Chipotle Pepper (3 bombs): What I think of as mild peppers coupled with cheese and sweet mango. It was, quite simply, like a rich desert. It came with a side of pickled peppers (which I imagine were the same in The Ignition.) I nibbled at these a bit, but left most of them so as not to overwhelm the balance of the rest of the dish. The onions in this mix were delicious.

I didn't partake of any of the drinks, though I do know that at some point a Flaming Hole Bowl (which I kept hearing as "Flaming Hobo"), a Suffering Bastard, and some form of Bloody Mary each graced the table.

And since it was a question (especially for me), No. 9 Park is ON.
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Comments
canonfire From: canonfire Date: March 24th, 2005 12:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
PHEW! I thought you had caught the clap or something!
komos From: komos Date: March 24th, 2005 02:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Nope, just shedding some excess spicy. Last night gave new meaning to "Tastes like burning."
cosmicserpent From: cosmicserpent Date: March 24th, 2005 12:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
WORD. See you tonight!
cosmicserpent From: cosmicserpent Date: March 24th, 2005 02:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Also, for a moment last night after I tried the pasta, I wasn't sure I could feel my legs any more.
couplingchaos From: couplingchaos Date: March 24th, 2005 02:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
I have a morbid curiosity about Hell Night. How are your insides today? Tell me stories!

(and I hope you both enjoy No. 9 Park tonight)
couplingchaos From: couplingchaos Date: March 24th, 2005 02:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

Edit

stories about last night's experience, that is. I don't need much detail about your insides.
komos From: komos Date: March 24th, 2005 02:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Edit

I'm about to add to my post. Check back in later.

...and I promise not to say too much about my bowels.
couplingchaos From: couplingchaos Date: March 24th, 2005 03:42 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Edit

Thanks!

(and I can handle quite a bit of detail, just didn't want to make you feel obligated to share it.)
komos From: komos Date: March 24th, 2005 03:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
There's not much to tell, really. I had the burning sensation I suggested in the first line, and that actually made me giggle. Aside from that, I mostly just feel sated. I loves me the spicy food.
cosmicserpent From: cosmicserpent Date: March 24th, 2005 02:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
The Oyster Shot I took was very hot but nothing comes close to the spice of the Pasta from Hell. It was tasty, but with five people trying one appetizer and us not even coming close to making a dent in it, you know it's hot.

I woke up in the middle of the night with some loose bowels but I'm a-okay now (I avoided a lot of the hot for fear of wrecking myself for tonight).
komos From: komos Date: March 24th, 2005 02:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm not sure I could feel mine, either, but that's mostly because I was so focused on wondering when the burn rolling through my mouth was going to subside.
cosmicserpent From: cosmicserpent Date: March 24th, 2005 02:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Eating that is surely worthy of a jawalter $5 bet.
komos From: komos Date: March 24th, 2005 02:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
It took $36 to convince him to down a bottle of malt vinegar, so I'm guessing he'll hold out for more.
cosmicserpent From: cosmicserpent Date: March 24th, 2005 02:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
It only costs $9 to eat it willingly!
komos From: komos Date: March 24th, 2005 03:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
But to finish it? I think that would require a little more incentive.
couplingchaos From: couplingchaos Date: March 24th, 2005 03:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
You guys are so mean.
komos From: komos Date: March 24th, 2005 03:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
But it's all in the name of profits!
sassyinkpen From: sassyinkpen Date: March 24th, 2005 04:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
My husband would adore this....

Me? I like a good horseradish rush, but hot wings is as far as I usually get on the pepper-hot stuff.
komos From: komos Date: March 24th, 2005 04:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, they had wings too, though they were sporting a six bomb rating themselves. Everything about the evening was geared to be over the top.

alex_victory From: alex_victory Date: March 24th, 2005 07:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Now you understand... when I say that bryant is hardcore, I mean he's HARDCORE. He finished an entire plate of Pasta from Hell SOLO.
mittenstein From: mittenstein Date: March 24th, 2005 07:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Jesus.
komos From: komos Date: March 24th, 2005 07:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
There's really no good reason for that. None.
cosmicserpent From: cosmicserpent Date: March 24th, 2005 08:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's insane.
chillguru From: chillguru Date: March 24th, 2005 08:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
damn does that sound tasty
komos From: komos Date: March 24th, 2005 08:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
All of this was from the raw bar and appetizer menus. I didn't even get to the entrees.
chillguru From: chillguru Date: March 24th, 2005 09:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
well i guess that means a return trip is needed
komos From: komos Date: March 25th, 2005 02:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Four months to wait, though...
From: corvus_coronis Date: March 25th, 2005 01:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
There probably is a drink that is really called flaming hobo.
komos From: komos Date: March 25th, 2005 02:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, but immagine what's in it... :\
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