August 21st, 2003

The gentleman is always properly dressed

When T Drivers Attack

As I was waiting to get off the train today, my driver started talking to me...

"I want YOU to drive this train!"
"Beg pardon?"
"I want you to drive, man."
I laughed. "I'm not sure I'm quite up to it..."
"Why not? It's easy! You can drive a car can't you?"
"Well, yeah, but..."
"It's the same thing. If you can drive a car, you can drive this train."
"But there’s no wheel and..."
"What do you need a wheel for? You’ve got tracks! You just go straight ahead until you have to stop."
"Don't I need training? What about cars and people who cross in front of you?"
"THAT'S one of the times you have to stop! 'Cause if you hit something you own it. You know what I mean? You OWN it."
"Hmmm... Is there anything else I should know?"
"Yeah, but you can do things like telling people where they are. Like this..." He picked up the receiver and announced "SUMMIT AVE" over the intercom. "You’re all over it. I have faith in you."

Sadly, Summit Ave. was my stop. He wished me a good one.
  • Current Music
    Kingston Trio, "Charlie on the MTA"