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A little less than a happy high
There are things that surprise me – when people say that they miss me, for instance, or when they take interest in things I'm doing.

I keep managing to miss friends' birthday gathers, and it's starting to make me feel lame. 'Course, it's kind of in keeping with my overall track record with invites. It's disturbing. I enjoy their company, I just can't get out of my own way sometimes. Sleeping would help.

On the upside, I got to speak with Klae for a bit on the phone. It would seem that strange things are afoot in the Land of the December Convertible, but all told, he sounds good. In spite of my sleep-reduced state, the conversation took a long meandering path through the mundane and the transcendent. He helps give me perspective, which often leaves me feeling like he is a much wiser man than I am. Where I can spout endlessly about my only slightly crazy theories and ideas, he looks for ways to make them happen.

I’m not entirely sure where I’m going with this. I know that I have difficulty understanding my own life. I also know that I spend a great deal of effort just stepping into the world, and that I recoil from things that I feel knock me off balance. Sometimes, that recoil is violent. I end up appreciating patience, if only because I have so little of it for myself.

Bah. Like I said, sleeping would help.
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