May 14th, 2007

Le théâtre de l'absurde

I couldn't make this stuff up

Today, I received one of the periodic email notices about training opportunities that are available to staff in our office. Admittedly, the notices go out to a wider audience than the data crunchers and desk jockeys I am surrounded by every day, but by the time the notices come to us, they're usually parsed of the wilder possibilities. Oddly enough, there are folks who request any training they've not already attended.

I knew we were in trouble right away when I caught the email header: BRING YOUR CAREER INTO THE LIGHT!

Shoot, Even Carol Anne knows enough not to go into the light...

We got the standard array of Word and Excel tutorials and the CYA seminars like Diversity training. Then things started to get interesting.

For the WWI re-enactor, it's a long way to Tipperary
Free Trenching Training: This course will provide awareness level training for working safely in trenches. Topics include: trenching hazards, selection and use of soil protective systems such as trench boxes and shoring, and a full overview of other required trench safety practices.

I can't wait until they get to 'Triskaidekaphobia Awareness for Managers'
Free Seminar - Establishing A Confined Space Entry Program: This seminar is intended for those responsible for public works employees or State employees who enter confined spaces. This class is NOT designed to train workers who enter confined spaces.