I had a bit of a crisis of faith last night. It spawned from feeling overwhelmed at work and was fed by cascading regrets over bad choices that have led to a rather untenable situation. It's how I felt last night, anyway. I'm much more chipper today. I'm still not entirely convinced that I haven't managed to fuck most everything up, but that's been tempered by a sense of the flow of things. For all of my outward trappings of mediocrity and ordinariness (?), there's been, of late at least, an undercurrent of something other I've been playing with. E- and I often spoke of the adage, "It's easy to be enlightened on a mountain" as a way of communicating the weird appeal of the extreme as a means of manifesting remarkable things in one's life, and how it may be much more rewarding, ultimately, to find ways to bring the mountain with you.
I have no idea how well this is communicating. Suffice to say that I still wish I were young, beautiful and fabulous, but sometimes a simple email from a friend is better still.
Completely off-topic, I've (non-work) things I need to take care of before driving to The Maine tomorrow:
- Contemplate financial matters (If only long enough to have a plan for the month) - Buy brown shoes (Passable, but a little boring) - Do laundry - Pick up dry cleaning - Pick up second tux vest since first was "billowy" - Get haircut - Transport cat to V's place - Transport dogs to temporary digs - Clean fur from the interior of the car - Drop off Eric's greel and accoutrements - Rack wheat to secondary - Consider prepping apples for final conditioning of the wheat (Long enough to realize it could wait) - Get in touch with folks about Tuesday's filmrounds - Discuss plans for weekend and beyond with my passengers and houseguests