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Everybody knows. - A little less than a happy high — LiveJournal
komos
komos
Everybody knows.
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why_style From: why_style Date: September 7th, 2005 05:26 pm (UTC) (Link)

i probably can't offer comfort either, but here i am fruitlessly attempting to say something

i'll try to make more sense than yesterday - my brain hasn't be fried by the judicial system today. wow, so much change all at once. you're in my thoughts. *uncomfortable man hug?* i've been where you're at, and i know it's not easy. i doubt i could say anything to change the way you feel at all, but as is my nature, i can't keep my mouth shut.

i don't believe relationship and failure have anything to do with one another. sometimes things just don't function even when you really want them to, and it's not about fault or deficiency. heck, even when it does work, it rarely keeps working. it's the nature of relationships, like everything else in life, to end. i know it's trite and doesn't probably help you funcion or really figure anything out, but my advice would be to focus on memories and forget about reasons. there's nothing wrong with being disappointed even if the split was for the best, but you don't need to be disappointed in yourself - just that it didn't work out and apparently wasn't meant to be.
komos From: komos Date: September 7th, 2005 07:34 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: i probably can't offer comfort either, but here i am fruitlessly attempting to say something

See, I've had as much trouble with the "Meant To Be" thing as I've had with the idea of "The One." There's timing, choice, the ability to adapt, the freedom to adapt and a whole host of other things I can wrap my mind around (any of which may be compromised by situation or by internal baggage...) Fate has never been one of them.

It was time to let this go, if only because it was hurting both of us to continue. We both deserve better than we were able to give each other. I can know all of this and still feel a little lost.

And no worries... I appreciate the input.
why_style From: why_style Date: September 7th, 2005 07:50 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: i probably can't offer comfort either, but here i am fruitlessly attempting to say something

yeah, i guess "meant to be" was a poor choice of words, cuz i didn't really mean fate. generally, i'm not big in the fate camp, but when it comes to relationships, things just seems so unquantifiable that i feel like in a sense it either works or doesn't and there's not always an explanation. sure, there are decisions you make that affect the circumstances, and i do believe that there is a measure of work involved in a relationship- it doesn't "just happen." but the circumstances can be perfect and things still don't always click. you can really love someone and still be incompatible is what i'm saying i guess and you may never know why that is.

but you feel lost, and why shouldn't you? it's a big change, and probably one that feels like it could have been avoided, but knowing and feeling aren't necessarily connected. i just don't want you to get lost in the maze of wondering "what if this" or "if only that" because frustrating as it is, i don't think there's always an explanation to these things. feel what you feel, regret if you have regrets, change something if you feel this has sparked the need to change, do whatever it takes to get through, but from my experience it still might never make sense.
komos From: komos Date: September 7th, 2005 07:58 pm (UTC) (Link)

AFGE

It's Another Frickin' Growth Experience. I'm not sure it's really supposed to make sense.

Dunno. Like I've said elsewhere, I'll be ok. It's just a matter of navigating all of the mixed feelings and finding ways to live with it and myself.
why_style From: why_style Date: September 7th, 2005 08:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: AFGE

:( growth shmowth. i do believe you will be okay, because you are a good person. i just hate to see a good person beat himself up and think he's failed at something when the dice may have been weighted in the first place.
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