Kid just loves him some cows (komos) wrote,
Kid just loves him some cows


The night before, I dreamt that I was to undergo surgery for a cardiac arrhythmia. Mind you, I've only the vaguest understanding of the condition, but it was what I had, and I was laid out on a table in an OR for it. The first thing my doctor did was to set up a cardiac catheter, sending the line up the artery in my left leg without anesthesia. I can't claim to remember the pain, but I do very vividly recall a white-hot blast that overwhelmed my senses and had me begging for her to hurry or for it to be over or something. I was breathing in bursts. My heart was racing. None of it made sense.

When she finished, I started to calm down until I saw one of the residents looming over me with a pair of defibrilator pads. He said, "CLEAR" and hit me just as I began to ask, "Isn't it dangerous to use those on someone whose heart is still beating?" I flatlined, and I freaked out so much about flatlining that the next thing I knew I was standing by the table, looking at my body, and trying to convince my doctor that something had to be wrong.

"Of course you're not dead," she insisted. "If you were, I couldn't be talking to you now."
I pointed out the atonal drone of the EKG as though that were more convincing than my being able to point to my unoccupied body. We argued while nurses pounded brightly colored pegs into my body "to immobilize it" for the surgery. Soon, there was a Code called somewhere else in the ER, and the whole staff left to tend to the emergency.

I stood there in disbelief, and realizing that no one was coming back and that the dream couldn't possibly come to any positive conclusion, I forced myself to wake up.

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