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A little less than a happy high
I guess I am human after all
I found this yesterday in Steven Pressfield’s Gates of Fire:

Only gods and heroes can be brave in isolation. A man may call upon courage in only one way, in the ranks with his brothers-in-arms, the line of his tribe and his city… No one may expect valor from one cast out alone, cut off from the gods of his home.

Somehow, I found myself in this statement. Over the past couple of years, I haven’t exactly been a paragon of courage and fortitude. Things were just too chaotic and too weighted against me, and the best I could muster was a sort of stunned resignation to a predestined fate. No amount of the "Litany of Fear" was enough to stave that off. It was too much and for the most part I had to face it alone. For the most part, folks either just really just didn’t know what to do or they just couldn’t do anything to help. The ordeal fosters this kind of isolation. The depression and anxiety only make it worse.

I’m bummed that I don’t quite rank the "god or hero" epithet, but it did make me feel better somehow.

Current Mood: strangely calm
Current Music: Björk, "5 Years"

4 comments or Leave a comment
(Deleted comment)
komos From: komos Date: June 6th, 2002 12:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
(Deleted comment)
komos From: komos Date: June 6th, 2002 12:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Why, is he a big fan? Or does he just like pandas?

I'm so in the dark about so much.
From: uruz Date: June 7th, 2002 07:46 am (UTC) (Link)
You are a god amongst men, Peter. Be brave.
komos From: komos Date: June 7th, 2002 07:53 am (UTC) (Link)

Thanks for the sentiment, but I'm really ok with the "not a god" thing. There's less responsibility. Granted, there are also fewer adoring nubile virgins, but that whole "chaste devotion" thing isn't all that it's cracked up to be. ;)

Seriously, though, I'm good. Every once in a while, I need to emote, and since I've allowed myself the space to write, I have a good outlet for it.
4 comments or Leave a comment