Kid just loves him some cows (komos) wrote,
Kid just loves him some cows

No one will see the world in the same way as you

I pulled up to Sanford Camera Repair at the precise moment that the proprietor was locking his door, and by the time I pulled the Canon out of my bag, the lights were closed. I stood there next to my car, camera in hand and barely noticing that the day's cold had turned bitter, not knowing what to do. My lens cap had come off - it never did stay on very well - and looking down at the cockeyed way the focal unit was sitting in the assembly housing, it occurred to me that this camera may be a lost cause. Three generations and at least 4 megapixels obsolete, the base repair cost quoted is almost enough to buy new and well over the highest price I found on eBay.

It's all so disappointing on many levels. I'm still kicking myself for being careless enough to let this happen. Given that starting "the 400" was a high point in an otherwise trying week, I can't say as the timing of the accident could be much worse. To top it, it's unlikely that I'll be able in good faith to satisfy my near-primal urge to repair and reuse. This machine had a lot of life in it still, but I probably can't bring it back.

There aren't too many things to which I get so attached - my camera, my computer, my car, my kitchen knives. Because of the freedom they afford and the ways in which I'm able to express myself through them, they come to feel like extensions of that self. To have to retire one, even knowing that there's something better ready to replace it, is difficult. To have to retire one because of my own carelessness? Then it feels like I've failed something very fundamental.

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