None of this ever happened. Not here, anyway.
Sam teases me about it every once in a while, probably because I refuse to believe that the doorbell was never there. Last night she reminded me of a contract that has existed between us that delineates our responsibilities and obligations. I was never aware of such a thing, but I’m told that it was signed after our third date. I’m also told that I agreed to such a thing because I had just gotten head and was rather suggestible at the time.
I didn’t get head on our third date. Alternate reality again.
I’m thinking that all contractual obligations aside, this other reality might be a better place for me. I mean, if nothing else, I seem to get oral more frequently.