mischievousNot that that’s a super awful thing. I’ve always held that food and sex share a great deal in common, and are perhaps the most intimate things that we share with one another. Both give us pleasure, encourage us to communicate, and tend to allow to a great deal of experimentation and compromise. Both are better when shared with someone you enjoy. Both tend to be associated with a great deal of emotional baggage, in large part because most of us are not provided with a healthy model under which we may explore these very real needs.
One very often leads to the other. Chances are, if we’ve ever had sex, I’ve probably had a strong desire afterwards to make you breakfast or maybe even share a white pizza with you (now those are some memories...). Similarly, if I have ever made you food, on some level I probably want to... oh, wait... erm... Look! Mitt Romney's being abducted by drag queens! [points wildly]
I baked Tuesday night, and in the process killed my much too tiny bottle of "The best frickin’ molasses ever." The result was the jumbo molasses cookies I mentioned eyeing last time I made cookies, and I am pleased with the results. In the process, I learned that a) a Delirium Tremens bottle makes a poor substitute for a proper rolling pin and b) I really need to get a second baking sheet if I’m going to continue making cookies and the like. I also learned that there’s enough heat radiating upward from the oven that I probably shouldn’t leave things like, say, saran wrap on the stovetop while I’m baking. That bit of hard-won knowledge wasn’t directly related to the cookies until such time as I attempted to wrap the cookies after they had cooled. Sometimes plastic wrap clings. Sometimes it fuses into an unusable mass.
Such activities may slow down considerably in the near future. I am submitting an application to take part in a USDA study on diet and weight loss. From the information I’ve gathered, it’s a year long study in which my diet will be more tightly regulated. I will need to attend weekly meetings down at Tufts Medical. It sounds a little like Weight Watchers, but with a twist. There will be a six-month period in which the cost of food is covered, and upon completion of the study, I will be awarded $2,000. I’ll be sacrificing some freedom, but between the promise of a kick-start on my return to being healthy and the potential for monetary reward, I’m rather looking forward to it.
I will miss the beer and barbecue, though.
