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The Beast Within - A little less than a happy high — LiveJournal
The Beast Within
I don’t like going to the movies alone. Sometimes I think this is a little weird since movies are our least social social activities. Going to see a movie is something to do that doesn’t require conversation, and company is there as dressing or to give options for the before or after. With the exception perhaps of bad movies which need a running commentary to be entertaining, once a film has started, you are left essentially alone in your thoughts.

So why the fuss? There is something about my going to the theater and sitting alone in a darkened room that suggests something perhaps illicit and shameful. It heightens my sense of alone-ness, and I seem simply by virtue of being there to be saying, "I really wanted to be around people, but this was the absolute best I could manage."*

I’ve seen a lot of films this way.

Last night’s was Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. It was late. I was bored, depressed and restless, and I couldn’t think of anyone I could drag out for a 10PM show on a school night. And yes, I was thinking, "I really wanted to be around people, but this was the absolute best I could manage."

I left the theater and it had begun to snow.

*Fully in keeping with my insecurities, I tend to reserve this kind of judgement for myself. If I were to see someone else alone at the movies or at a restaurant, I’m far more likely to think them utterly cool. I would admire their self-assuredness and their ability to seek after the things that they enjoy, regardless of availability of friends. It’s easier to project such noble qualities onto someone else. In my head, I know that I’m lonely and afraid, but I can assume all sorts of groovy thought processes going on in theirs.

Current Mood: blank blank

12 comments or Leave a comment
jaimek From: jaimek Date: December 4th, 2002 06:12 am (UTC) (Link)
I felt that way when I first started to go alone, but I started to realize how many films I was missing if I wanted to go with someone cause most people I know aren't vey risky when it comes to going ot the movies.
The worst experiences have been when I go really early to pick out the perfect seat and then have a couple ask you to move over. But the ultimate was when a group of teenagers didn't ask me to move and the just engulfed my in their little annyoing group.

I like to refer to going to the movies alone as "taking my self out on a date"
komos From: komos Date: December 4th, 2002 09:38 am (UTC) (Link)
Periodically, I do manage that frame of mind, and it really is a much better place to be in. Sadly, when I'm in a state, I'm more likely to heighten the feelings of isolation.

All part of perception being 90% of reality, I guess.

c_m_i From: c_m_i Date: December 4th, 2002 06:23 am (UTC) (Link)

Well, if you get bored tonight, you're more than welcome to come over, watch me paint little men like a banshee, and watch the next part of Taken on SciFi.

But on the other hand, there's something zen about going out by yourself to the movies. I wish the HarSqu theatre had more flicks I'd like to see, as I'd totally go to them alone.

And I'd even buy dinner for myself!

komos From: komos Date: December 4th, 2002 09:46 am (UTC) (Link)
Tonight? I think Pablo and I are going to get together for El Mariachi, or possibly Heroic Trio. Interested?

I know what you mean, though I'm less bound to a particular theater. I'm not sure why I don't end up at the Brattle, Coolidge Corner, or even Kendall Square more often than I do. I'm on all of their mailing lists, but I keep missing the films I really want to see.
(Deleted comment)
komos From: komos Date: December 4th, 2002 09:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Honestly, I think it was probably good for me to have the experience. Yeah, it was lonely, but it gave me a chance to think about why and what makes me think in the ways that I do. Sooner or later, I will have to get comfortable with myself. I really would like to incorporate more of the idea that "I am utterly cool" in my thinking.

Thanks, though.

I did like the movie, though I got really annoyed with Ron. I'm not sure if it had the same impact as The Sorceror's Stone. SS opened up the world in a wonderful way, tearing pages from the imagination and doing much to enhance and elaborate on them. It was almost as magical as the world it portrayed. CoS had more of a franchise feel to it.
guitarcries From: guitarcries Date: December 4th, 2002 09:12 am (UTC) (Link)
A few years ago I had a Sunday night ritual: sleep till late afternoon after having been out insanely late Saturday night, go for food at my favorite vegetarian Chinese restaurant, and then hit a movie (all by myself, of course). I always felt like it was something I needed to do, being alove for awhile and treating myself like that. I think it can be truly rehabilatory. Is it like that for you?
komos From: komos Date: December 4th, 2002 09:58 am (UTC) (Link)
It can be, though that hasn't been the most common outlook that I've had. When I saw Nightmare Before Christmas, that was very much how I came to it. I had the day off, had just had a sandwich from Cardullo's in Harvard Square, and to see it simply because I wanted to do. (I won't go too deeply into the fact that I watched my sanity slip away during the opening scene in Halloween Town.)
guitarcries From: guitarcries Date: December 4th, 2002 01:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
I find it's usually the best when you see go to a packed theater. It's so cool to see the reactions of everyone else and feel the community of experiencing all the same emotions with everyone else there. When you're along with someone I don't think it's quite the same (although that has entirely different good stuff associated with it, of course, like an available ear to scream "Oh fuck!" into when the alien is still in the house).
komos From: komos Date: December 4th, 2002 07:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
I saw Moulin Rouge in a theater packed with an appreciative crowd. I'll confess, though, that I was so blown away by it that I don't know that I noticed them much. (I won't go too deeply into the fact that I watched my sanity slip away during the absinthe fairy scene.)

So, um, yeah... ;)
guitarcries From: guitarcries Date: December 5th, 2002 03:45 am (UTC) (Link)
haha! :)
komos From: komos Date: December 5th, 2002 11:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, ok, so most of the films I have enjoyed on my own have involved some sort of shift in perception that took me out of my normal self (or perhaps pulled me into my normal self? Must think on this...)

There is a shred of sanity here somewhere.


No, really...
guitarcries From: guitarcries Date: December 5th, 2002 11:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Um, the fact that you think you are sane is proof in itself. :P
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