I walked home tonight having an imaginary conversation with my boss concerning my dismissal. Yes, it is still imaginary, but fear has me well in its clutches at this point, and I feel like I may as well rehearse my "I can't begin to tell you how disatisfied I have been" speech. This, of course, put me in a famous mood.
Arriving home, I got the mail. I bounced a check. Not only did I bounce a check, but it appears that I attempted to draw it from an account that had a -$353 balance. I find this more than a little disturbing since I thought my balance was about $753 in the opposite direction and I can't figure out how an account without overdraft protection could possibly have been sucked into negative numbers. Citizens charged me $52 for their trouble.
But wait, it gets better...
Thinking I would sit down and figure out why my account was so out of whack, I turned on my PC so I could access my Quicken records. The disk started spinning and then stopped, my screen frozen on the Compaq startup screen. Off. On. Still nothing. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On... It's dead. It won't even move to the point where it starts up off of the emergency boot disk. I'm writing to you courtesy of the 90mHz Pentium dinosaur that I still have kicking around because I've been too much of a depressive lump to get rid of it.
And I was just having a conversation today about how it's difficult to find the motivation to do anything because I'm not convinced that my life will be measurably better for the effort and energy. Tonight, during the cascade, I couldn't even manage the energy to be upset.
So anyway, I need tech support for my ailing PC, advice as to how to approach the issue of the lost $800, and maybe a little bit of encouragement.
Actually, a lot of encouragement... I can't do this anymore.