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A little less than a happy high
From here to there?
clayrobeson's Get the F#%k Out of Dodge party is slated for this Saturday at my place.* In preparation, I've been at cleaning again. Not just the surface-tidying meant to make the place seem livable and otherwise presentable, but a deep, gut-wrenching culling of the debris that's accumulated during the last few years. I say gut-wrenching because of what the things say about me or at least how I've been. It’s weirdly difficult to let them go.

All of these things I keep finding that I haven't been able to throw away for whatever reason make me feel a bit like Jacob Marley, doomed to wander dragging the chains that he created for himself by the way that he lived his life. His chains were forged of books and ledgers, though, which suggests that he at least had the good sense to keep his stuff in order.

I started wondering if I headed into the street and started wailing I would have some sort of catharsis. I decided against that plan, being as I'm not a ghost and would likely disturb my neighbors. Then I started thinking about Bob Marley and the Wailers. I’m still not convinced that my world is ready for dreadlocks, though, so that thought passed too. It did, however, leave a tune in my head. Could you be loved and be loved?

This wasn't the first time the Marley idea came to me recently.. The other was inspired by the bag I seem to haul with me everywhere. Since I've been walking more, I've started noticing just how heavy it is. Granted, there are things I carry that are useful, but there’s a lot I haul back and forth for no good reason. It's all so much weight. Weight for protection and deflection. It's a little like armor, but armor that’s ill-fitted and prone to blocking my vision or movement at inopportune moments.

It’s the weight of waiting.

Tired of it.

*Incidentally, if you need directions or have any questions about this, please feel free to drop me a line.

Current Mood: Wire-fu
Current Music: Bob Marley and the Wailers, "Could you be loved"

13 comments or Leave a comment
From: couplingchaos Date: June 25th, 2003 01:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
party is slated for this Saturday at my place

whoa, way to rock the last minute announcements. i won't be able to make it :(
komos From: komos Date: June 25th, 2003 01:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm pretty sure you were on the evite that he sent out a week and a half ago.
From: couplingchaos Date: June 26th, 2003 05:10 am (UTC) (Link)


oops. If I was, I must have misplaced the email. I send my best, though, and will see if I can send treats as well.
c_m_i From: c_m_i Date: June 26th, 2003 06:27 am (UTC) (Link)
I didn't get an evite either. :/

futurenurselady From: futurenurselady Date: June 26th, 2003 07:09 am (UTC) (Link)
I didn't get an evite...neither did some other folks...hmmm is something rotten in the site of evite?

I would like to go though and bring xany too.

komos From: komos Date: June 27th, 2003 01:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Just drop Klae a line.
riverbank From: riverbank Date: June 25th, 2003 02:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
once you start letting them go, it gets easier and easier.

one option is to give once loved items to loved ones.
komos From: komos Date: June 25th, 2003 02:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
I used to do that quite a lot, but being in the same place for so long has fueled a weird collector's instinct.

And while it's a good strategy for the "loved/loved" set, what do I do with the "hated but necessary to keep" items? I vote for file boxes stored in crawl spaces with hopes that they'll never resurface, but you may have a more positive idea. ^_^
shutupbetsy From: shutupbetsy Date: June 25th, 2003 07:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
If you do Jeff's interview before mine you are in tro-uble... :)
komos From: komos Date: June 27th, 2003 12:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Honestly, I didn't respond in hopes of getting more interview queries. Frankly, I passed on several because I've been so lax with the two sets of questions I got initially. All will be answered. (And yes, I've said that before. :\ )

What it comes down to is that I haven't been giving myself enough writing time. I will have to remedy that, if only because I'm starting to feel the after-effects.

I wonder what would happen if I just collected my fragments and posted them all together and in no particular order.
mittenstein From: mittenstein Date: June 30th, 2003 08:42 am (UTC) (Link)
*Incidentally, did you find a pair of sunglasses in your house after everyone was gone?
komos From: komos Date: June 30th, 2003 10:10 am (UTC) (Link)
I did, actually. Would it be possible to swing them by your place tomorrow?
mittenstein From: mittenstein Date: June 30th, 2003 11:44 am (UTC) (Link)


that sounds like a fine idea to me.
13 comments or Leave a comment