Stupid things impress me and can make me feel better. I download a new skin for winamp and suddenly feel calm. I’m not sure if I should be happy about this or if I should try to understand just how tragic it is.
I find teen angst simultaneously fascinating and repulsive. I also believe that teen angst is not limited to the teen years. The questions being asked by the guy going through a mid-life crisis are essentially the same ones he asked when he was in high school. Maybe, if he’s lucky/gifted/reflective, the questions are as sophisticated as “what’s it all mean?” and “how does my presence affect the world?” Sadly, though, it seems that first and foremost for everyone is “how can I get more play?” For clarity’s sake, I believe that it happens for both men and women but each deals with it differently.
Everyone wants to be loved, I guess.
My mom went through her second adolescence at about the same time that I started my first, and the result was frighteningly predictable. I was denied my own experience of first struggling with these impulses, and was forced instead into the more parental role of observer and confidant. Now when I recognize these impulses in myself, I feel like I’m being self-indulgent and childish. I repress them to the best of my abilities and obsess over propriety.
Yep, still blaming the parents... sounds a little like the teen angst thing again doesn’t it?