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A little less than a happy high
komos
komos
On spreadable goo
Hellman’s mayonnaise is clearly superior to Cain’s.

And don’t even talk to me about that Miracle Whip stuff. Pre-packaged products that use "Whip" as a noun are warning you of unnatural flavors, textures, or both (or worse!)* Miracle Whip tastes like mayonnaise mixed with old bologna. I can’t understand why you would want to add that flavor to anything that you’re about to eat.

(Your results may vary.)


*Ok, semi-tangential aside... I have issues with bologna and mayonnaise eaten in tandem. My mom seems to think it has something to do with her getting really ill on a bologna and mayo sandwich she had while carrying me. I don’t know. I just know I have never liked the combination. I grok wrongness there.

Cool Whip was just something one of my crazy aunts tormented me with when I was a kid. Let me tell you, you haven’t lived until you’ve had a Cool Whip sundae, my friends. (Just for clarity, that’s a scoop of frozen non-dairy whipped topping with Hershey’s Syrup and NO ICE CREAM.) Woo! :P

Current Mood: crazy crazy
Current Music: J-E-L-L-O!

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Comments
clayrobeson From: clayrobeson Date: August 19th, 2003 10:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Have you ever had La Creme whipped topping?

It's like Cool Whip mixed with BUTTER.

::drool::
komos From: komos Date: August 19th, 2003 10:05 am (UTC) (Link)

Was that mmmBUTTER?

I'm almost certain that I have no words to convey the horror that is apparent on my face right now. ;)

Just give me some heavy cream and a whisk and I'll be happy, thanks.
clayrobeson From: clayrobeson Date: August 19th, 2003 10:08 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Was that mmmBUTTER?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGL!

That's SICK! SICK SICK SICK!!

I think they just meant to make it taste extra creamy, but it gave it kind of a yellow tint...

We used to make our own whipped cream at the ice cream parlour I worked at... it was tastey!
komos From: komos Date: August 19th, 2003 10:46 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Was that mmmBUTTER?

Isn't it wonderful that sooner or later all our stories come back to haunt us? ;)
clayrobeson From: clayrobeson Date: August 19th, 2003 10:47 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Was that mmmBUTTER?

Not so much...

;)
riverbank From: riverbank Date: August 19th, 2003 10:02 am (UTC) (Link)
i love cool whip sundays! try mixing in fruit before freezing yummy

mayo 'cow snot' *snicker*
komos From: komos Date: August 19th, 2003 10:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Just notgonnadoit. This goes straight to my weird hangups and stuff.
skipalways From: skipalways Date: August 19th, 2003 10:40 am (UTC) (Link)

it's weird..

but the only time i like mayo at ALL is in a salad (seafood salad, tuna salad, potato ... you get the idea).

i tend to ignore it on whoppers because you just can't taste it.

only mustard is fit for bologna in my opinion.
komos From: komos Date: August 19th, 2003 10:48 am (UTC) (Link)

Have it your way

Mayo is best when made by hand, but that tends to be true of a lot of things... burgers included.

Now, do you do SPAM salad, or is the idea terrible to contemplatetm?
skipalways From: skipalways Date: August 19th, 2003 11:03 am (UTC) (Link)

ewww

SPAM salad?

I don't like ham salad, why on Earth would I TORTURE my tastebuds with SPAM salad???
wisdom_seeker From: wisdom_seeker Date: August 19th, 2003 03:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Why do you prefer the Hellman's? I grew up on Cain's, so it's what I always compare other mayo to.

I gotta agree with you on the scariness of "Whip"'ed foodstuffs! Cool Whip is so obviously a fake food; it's just bizarre-feeling in your mouth. Cool Whip sundaes sound gross.
komos From: komos Date: August 20th, 2003 06:04 am (UTC) (Link)
Cain's has a tang to it that I find distracts from the various things I add it to. The key here is its ability to enhance the flavors of the foods with which it is served instead of overwhelming them.
wisdom_seeker From: wisdom_seeker Date: August 20th, 2003 09:50 am (UTC) (Link)
I'll agree with you on that. I used to try to make sandwiches the way I liked 'em at restaurants and always found the Cain's over-whelming when I did.
starboogie From: starboogie Date: August 19th, 2003 07:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Gah. There is -nothing- good about mayonnaise.

The only good thing about Miracle Whip is that it is NOT mayonnaise.

I have spoken.

...

I have made myself queasy even speaking about mayonnaise and typing it three times.
komos From: komos Date: August 20th, 2003 06:01 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm sure mudguts would probably agree, since he's stated outright that may is "The Devil's Spread."

I have to ask, though, do you actually like MW or do you just find it handy to spruce up things like tuna?

My favorite mayo-like spread is garlic aioli, preferably home-made but overall, I'm much more of a mustard person. I think I can safely say that there are at least five mustard variants kicking around in my fridge. They are filled with deliciousness.
starboogie From: starboogie Date: August 20th, 2003 08:03 am (UTC) (Link)
Like??? MW??? Perish the thought! And probably perish me if I ate the stuff.

mudguts has mad wisdom.

And shame on you for even suggesting that something as good as tuna should be ruined by being made into a ... salad.
komos From: komos Date: August 20th, 2003 08:29 am (UTC) (Link)
I hang my head appropriately, of course.

As far as I'm concerned, tuna is best served largely unadulterated and definitely uncanned. Nigiri is preferred, but occasionally in steak form (perhaps blackened?) can be fantastic too.
pilarcruz From: pilarcruz Date: August 20th, 2003 12:03 am (UTC) (Link)
Miracle Whip can suck it.
komos From: komos Date: August 20th, 2003 06:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Right on!
From: skygoodwill Date: August 20th, 2003 11:05 am (UTC) (Link)
I have similar stories to tell.


That Cool Whip idea sounds like an excellent alternative to heavy icing. That with left over strawberries enjoying a relaxing afternoon into evening into night into day again...
komos From: komos Date: August 20th, 2003 11:44 am (UTC) (Link)

Dipping is

Maybe, but with homemade whipped cream. And Triple Sec. And confectioner's sugar.
From: skygoodwill Date: August 20th, 2003 11:54 am (UTC) (Link)

Bakery

Yes, bakers work long hours. When do they rest anyway?

Oh, yes I have been using Nayonaise for a while now. Tastes great.
komos From: komos Date: August 20th, 2003 01:00 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Bakery

I wish more of the world operated on bakers' hours, or at least on more natural hours.

Anyways, I think they have early sleep.

Is Nayonaise a soy product?
From: skygoodwill Date: August 20th, 2003 01:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Bakery

Yes of course it is. ; )
komos From: komos Date: August 20th, 2003 01:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Bakery

I can't tell you how awesome that is. ^_^
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