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Weird Silence - A little less than a happy high — LiveJournal
komos
komos
Weird Silence
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prosicated From: prosicated Date: August 28th, 2003 09:05 am (UTC) (Link)
I suspect that I will be you in a few years. I drop hobbies like jacks, I fail to pick them up again. I'm fighting inertia so hard it hurts. =)
komos From: komos Date: August 28th, 2003 09:50 am (UTC) (Link)

Do not go lightly into that good night

I don't feel so much like I drop hobbies so much as like I drop the few things that are important to me. I haven't been able to get my life going, and I'm at a point where it's starting to show.

It's really not a fate I'd wish on anyone.


The precedeing has been brought to you by Despair. Despair, when you absolutely positively need to wonder why. ;)

(This will pass.)
prosicated From: prosicated Date: August 28th, 2003 10:12 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Do not go lightly into that good night

Ah, yes, despair indeed, and intoxicating perfume.
Your life is going, just not where you want it to. Look at it this way, you're on the horse, just not holding the reins right now. Every point of despair and reflection feels like it's too late, but I think that's wrong, no matter where you think you are or should be.
I drop passions, hobbies, plans, etc. out of fear and then don't start them because I blame myself for not starting sooner or being better. It's a great little catch 22 to get stuck in, really. (the water's fine, c'mon in!)

Why did you give up those important activities martial arts biking canoing etc? I think everyone has spurts of dedication and relaxation, I think that you can trace your interest in them back to being 17 or 19 is a feat in itself. (I'm only 23, but I can honestly say that I haven't got any interests that I've been following since I was 17. I've already dropped the few that bolstered me through high school, and college kept me from developing a lot of burgeoning interests due to the way my time was allocated. )

Just stop being a sourpuss and go do something amazing. And if you happened to give the rest of us some ass-kickings along the way to get us moving, I'm sure we'd appreciate it.
komos From: komos Date: August 28th, 2003 12:14 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Do not go lightly into that good night

Sorry for bein' all poopy. I think the trouble right now is that I've realized that while I've been looking for the reins, my horse has been trotting along to a very bad place while I've been sitting backwards in the saddle.

At any rate, I'm having a day. It will pass.

Thanks for listening in the meantime. ^_^
prosicated From: prosicated Date: August 28th, 2003 12:29 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Do not go lightly into that good night

That's a lovely image, I'm imagining you as that hapless Canadian Mounty cartoon guy now... or the mouse guy in The Labyrinth...


It does sound like one of those days. I have a lot of those. Hopefully it'll just be the one.

komos From: komos Date: August 28th, 2003 12:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
If I must be a Canadian Mountie, be sure to give me one of those HUGE chins and a silly voice. ;)

To answer your question, it's mostly just been fear and inertia, with the occasional injury to drive the ideas home. I think the most frustrating thing is realizing that it's mostly my doing. (That way madness lurks.)
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