Kid just loves him some cows (komos) wrote,
Kid just loves him some cows

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Life out of time

I’m feeling small this morning, and a little out of touch with time. I couldn’t quite understand why my alarm was going off this morning. It didn’t feel like Monday, and it didn’t make sense that I had to be up at a particular time. Even after I did rouse, I seemed to be moving in slow motion. I had a bagel and the clock hands raced around the dial inexplicably. I had a shower and emerged having been shifted forward in time. Everything is racing around me, moving so fast that I can’t make sense of it. (Funny – I just had a mental image of reaching out with one hand to grab an impossibly large atom while standing in the midst of a solid blur of impossibly fast-moving traffic. I’m getting all freaky.)

Coffee only helped a little bit, and more because DnD’s somehow managed to put more sugar than coffee in my morning libation. The shock was enough to bring me back in sync. Well, more or less, anyway. Hopefully, I won’t start wandering the halls with my hands above my head shouting “Are you threatening me??” to random passers-by.

Last night, I had a dream about Elizabeth, one of my friends in high school. The one remarkable thing about it was that I said something to her that I never got around to saying when I actually knew her. In the dream, I went with her as she got her hair cut. She was sitting in the chair, waiting when she looked over at me with the sly, cheshire cat smile she always managed. Suddenly I was moved to say, “You really are a pretty woman, you know.” I couldn’t help it. It just blurted out.

I wonder if she ever knew how I felt.

I wonder if all of this “If only I had…” that’s been coming up is suggesting that I should start bringing you Peter: Live and Uncensored. I saw an Enterprise episode this week where Trip was discussing regret with a Vulcan, and it seemed very poignant. I’ve more instances of not asking the girl I had a crush on to dance than really should be healthy. Bleh.

Sam finally got around to reading through all of this over the weekend, and she sent a pretty groovy post in response. I haven’t decided whether I want to record it here for posterity’s sake, though it did make me feel like this isn’t a completely pointless exercise. Made me happy.

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